Fascinating look at current research in child development, covering everything from why siblings really fight (Freud was wrong, Shakespeare was right); why teen arguing is a sign of respect, not rebellion; why white parents don't talk about race but should; and how classic strategies to promote truthfullness just make kids better liars. The upshot is that many of our responses to previous research have made things worse. For example, we were told that when kids see parents argue, it increases aggression. And this is often true. But our response of trying to avoid having our kids witness arguments has led to things like stopping mid-argument to take it upstairs or "saving" an argument for later. What we didn't understand was that unless an argument turns violent, kids are fine with witnessing it, *as long as they see it getting resolved*. So if you "take it upstairs," your child only sees that you were arguing and doesn't see the good part. And if you "save" an argument, your child sees that you're both cross or tense all evening, but doesn't know why. Will be buying this book.